


Sacrifice

by BouquetOfScoroses



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Major Spoilers, My take on who the real father of Historia's baby is, Pregnancy, a lot of Eren's inner monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 09:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BouquetOfScoroses/pseuds/BouquetOfScoroses
Summary: I always knew you wouldn't sacrifice Historia.The government thought that they could hold Historia over Eren, and he knew he gave them all the ammunition they needed by standing in that meeting. If only they knew he had already sacrificed Historia months before Hange ever came to his cell.
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Eren Yeager
Comments: 9
Kudos: 113





	Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> So...I read 40+ chapters of the Attack on Titan manga on Saturday and I'm still a mess. My brain also won't turn off about this story, so here's my take on Eren's thoughts about Historia and how he feels about his role in Historia's pregnancy.
> 
> (Because I 100% don't believe the random farmer boy is the father)

_ I always knew that you wouldn’t sacrifice Historia _ .

Eren gripped the sides of the sink and stared down at the drain. He knew he had lashed out because Hange was right. But there had been another reason, one that no one else could know.

He had already sacrificed Historia months ago.

It had been to keep her safe. That’s what he kept telling himself, at least. Their decision--his decision--had been to give them time, to keep her safe while he figured out how to keep her from the same fate as him. 

But he had really taken away her life just the same.

He would be dead in less than five years. Eight years of being the Attack Titan, and he was honestly ready for it to be over. But Historia...she had a life ahead of her. One that was now shackled to  _ his _ child.

She had told everyone it was that farmer boy’s child, and that was the part of the plan he had insisted on. Any child of Historia’s would be an automatic target because of their royal blood. Adding in his blood would take the child from a scapegoat of the government to a threat that would need to be eradicated. Especially after what he had done in Marley. After what he knew had to be done to save the world.

They kept it a secret, just like all the others over the years. He had snuck off to visit her in the weeks following that godforsaken government meeting, hoping the few times they had managed to be alone had been enough for her to conceive. 

No one knew about his relationship with Historia, if you could even call it that. There hadn’t been many chances to be with her in the years they had known each other, especially when she had been so involved with and so heartbroken over Ymir. He had comforted her through that loss as best he could, and she had become one of his closest friends. Because of this, he was determined to keep her far away from the carnage that he knew he had to inflict on the world. 

She had been through so much already in her nineteen years. He had been content to know she was happy and healthy on her farm, and he had hoped she would find someone else that could make her happy. That was before Zeke’s conditions had been revealed. Before the government had been content to turn Historia into breeding livestock with an expiration date.

He still hated himself for this, though. He pushed away from the sink and ran a hand through his hair. Hadn’t he treated her just the same as them? He had come to her, presented this stupid idea, and taken her to bed. He was forcing her to have a baby, just like the government wanted. He was no better than anyone in that military. But if his plan worked...maybe the world could become a place Historia and their child could live freely.

He had to get out of this cell. He had to get back to Historia, had to make sure she was okay. It was entirely possible that in the current state of the government they could decide to go through with Zeke’s demands and risk sacrificing the child in the process before he could do anything about it. He had to keep Historia safe. He couldn’t keep anyone else safe in this world, but he would be sure that no one would touch her.

* * *

After he broke out, he convinced Yelena that he needed to see Historia first. He would reach Zeke in time, of course he would, but he had to have this conversation first. He needed her to understand.

He rode up to the gate alone, having passed the guard. That same guard had let him in many times before, but this would be the last time he would have to keep their secret. Historia sat on the porch in a rocking chair, like she had the last two times he had visited. This time, though, he knew the farmer boy wouldn’t be far. Historia had offered him a place to live, as compensation for being their cover story.

She sat up as much as she could, but he held up a hand to stop her. She was six months, close to seven months pregnant by their estimation. Her hand rested on top of her round stomach and she stretched out her other hand to him. He took it, feeling the familiar jolt, but this time no memories accompanied it. He had seen all that he needed to see.

He sat down on the ground beside her, keeping her hand in his. “How do you feel?”

“Fine,” she answered. He didn’t look at her, but she could feel her eyes on him. He felt her hand drift from her stomach to his hair. She ran her fingers through the loose strands before asking, “How are you?”

He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. This was the one luxury he allowed himself these days. To feel Historia’s gentle hands on him, to know that she didn’t love him any less because of the things he had done. The things he would be doing. “I’m fine.”

“You’re lying to me,” she said softly. He opened his eyes, but didn’t move. “They’re still talking about Zeke’s plan, aren’t they?”

He winced.

“Eren, we knew this baby wasn’t a way out forever,” Historia said, her voice so caring it sent a jolt of pain through him.

He couldn’t tell her that he only winced because Zeke’s true plan was even worse than she could imagine. She only knew the basic idea from what he had told her the first time they had spoken about having a baby. “I know. It gave us some extra time, but-”

“There’s nothing stopping them from forcing me to inherit the Beast Titan after I give birth,” she finished plainly. He nodded, and he heard her sigh. “I’ll do it if I have to, Eren.”

Eren shook his head, and let go of her hand. “No, you won’t. Think about it. Do you really want to give up your life after thirteen years? Have our thirteen-year-old child eat you and cut their life down to just thirteen more years? Keeping the same cycle going that made your father chain me up and almost force you to eat me?”

She flinched and pulled both hands back to her stomach. “No, I don’t want that. But if it protects our people, protects your life-”

“My life is gone, Historia,” he interrupted. “I have less than five years left, and I’m going to spend it making sure that I don’t sentence you to the same fate. Besides, I thought we agreed you were done with all the pretend selflessness.”

“But Marley-”

“Marley won’t be a problem much longer,” Eren said, a sharp bite to his voice. “Neither will the Eldians that live there. We’ll be safe here on this island, and we’ll be free.”

She was quiet, as he knew she would be. She disliked his plan; he knew that. As the queen, she wanted to live peacefully, taking care of the orphan children that lived on her lands. He wanted freedom, and that would only come with the liberation of the people on Paradis. 

They wanted different things, and the only thing that joined them was the child growing in Historia’s womb.

“You won’t be coming here anymore, will you?” Historia asked, looking toward the horizon.

He glanced at her face for the first time since he sat down. Her blonde hair was pulled back, exposing her high cheekbones and clear blue eyes. She kept her eyes focused away from him, but he remembered the looks they had shared before. Curious before their first kiss, teary but resigned when they decided on their plan, dark and heated the first time they had went to bed together. Now, they were distant. No, he realized. They were filled with so much fear that she was distancing herself from.

“I can’t, Historia,” he said. “People will start getting suspicious. They probably already are. And...my time will probably run out long before the five years is up.”

It was the first time he had admitted it to her out loud.

“Then why did you come?” Historia asked, keeping her voice even. 

He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on top of his knees. “I wanted to make sure that you were alright. That you didn’t hate me for forcing this on you.”

“Forcing what on me?” Historia asked, looking toward him. 

“The baby,” Eren said. 

“You think you forced this baby on me?” She asked. “It was my idea to get pregnant as a way to buy some time.”

“But I put you in so much more danger by deciding the father should be me,” he responded. “It would have been better for you if I had been able to let you go.”

“I thought we agreed we weren’t going to pretend with each other,” she said. 

He didn’t answer, and she turned toward him.

“Eren, look at me,” Historia said, and he turned. He met her eyes, and she looked every bit the queen she was. “Do you think I would have agreed to do this with you if I didn’t want to? I wanted this baby once we had decided. I didn’t want some random farm hand’s baby. I wanted a small piece of you that would stay when you’re gone.”

She paused to take a breath, and he could hear the tears in her voice before she continued, “I wish I could say I did this just for the good of humanity, to end this cycle of the Titans at least in the Reiss family. But ultimately I did this for my own selfish reasons, Eren. Don’t feel guilty.”

He didn’t want her to assuage his guilt. He already had so many sins on his shoulder, and what he’d done to Historia was just one more to add to the weight. 

They sat there in silence, and he waited for her to send him away. Then, he felt her fingers softly touch his hair again. She tugged a few strands free of his bun as she carded her fingers through. “I’ll miss you.”

Eren closed his eyes. He hadn’t meant to make this feel like a goodbye, but Historia had always been able to see through him. “You’ll find someone else.”

She shook her head. “I’ve had to live through Ymir’s death, and now I’ll have to live through yours. I think losing two lovers is enough for me.”

He looked up at her, and saw her smiling. “What about your farmer friend?”

“He’s just that. A friend,” Historia said. “He can’t replace either of you.”

He paused, and then said, “You should name her Ymir. If it’s a girl, that is.”

Historia glanced down at her stomach. “I had thought about it. But it seemed...inappropriate, considering what being Subjects of Ymir has brought us in this life.”

“It’s the right name,” Eren insisted. “We should be proud of who we are. We were kept in the dark for a hundred years. Hopefully our baby will be born into the light.”

She ran a hand absently over her stomach, then nodded. She didn’t look up at him, and he knew he should just walk away. Instead, he leaned over and cupped her face with his hands. She rested her hands on his waist. 

“I’m going to make this world better, Historia,” Eren said. “A world where we don’t have to be afraid anymore. You’ll be free, and our child will be free. That’s what I’m fighting for. You understand that, don’t you?”

Historia hesitated, then nodded. “I know that you believe that. I’ll still miss you all the same.”

He didn’t want to argue with her, not in the last moment he could spend with her, so he leaned in and kissed her. It wasn’t a deep kiss, but it was enough. He could feel her hands hesitate, her fingers tugging slightly against his shirt when he pulled away, but she let him go. 

He walked away back to his horse without a glance back, not seeing her hand half-raised toward him, as if begging him to spend just one more second with her. He frowned as he hopped back onto his horse, then settled his face into that perfect, blank mask.

Yes, he had sacrificed Historia. He had sacrificed her future to save her life, and had given her up from his life. 

But if this was the price for the world’s freedom, for her freedom, he would gladly pay it again and again.


End file.
